For the best part of this year my world has been upside down, I have had many ups and downs along the way its been a long hard road but I finally feel like I am starting to travel somewhere. Three months ago I went out for the first time as a single mum, I met and amazing man someone who was not a stranger, someone who I have grown up with and been friends with since we were babies. I believe in fate and the fact that he had just come out of a 14 year marriage like I had was clearly a sign not to be missed.
I had been a single parent for four months, bringing the children up full time alone was hard but I was doing it, looking back I don’t know how I got through it but I did. When I went on my first night out I wasn’t looking to find anyone else, I was looking to meet up with old friends and have a laugh, I never for one minute expected what I got.
After four months of ducking and diving and doing my best to keep my head above the water this man walked into my life. I will never forget our first meeting, it was lovely ….. we chatted about our partners leaving us and how we and our children had coped with it all. We exchanged numbers and kept in contact from there.
At the point of meeting this man I felt like I had lived my life in a hole …. a deep hole …. a deep hole with high side that I was doing my best to claw myself out of. I felt like I was slowly getting to the top of that hole when a bright light shined from above, reached down, grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up. That hole feels well and truly behind me now, I can’t believe I was stuck in it for so long. I finally feel like I can breath, like I am free, like the old me, like I can enjoy life once again.
I am now starting to enjoy everyday again, I wake up every morning smiling because he has text me to say good morning and I go to sleep every night happy because he has text me to say goodnight. He’s a hard working man so when a text arrives in the daytime it makes me smile even more because I know he is thinking about me whilst he is busy. Its the small things in life that mean the world to me and these simple things show me that he really cares and I am always on his mind and I LIKES it.
Notes ….. I like to surprise him with notes when the opportunity arises, its something that picks him up during the day and I know it makes him smile. I also love receiving a note from him, especially when its unexpected which most of his notes are, they give me a lift better than any drugs will ever do (not that I have ever taken drugs), I read them many times before put them away somewhere safe. Two nights ago I returned home from seeing my man, I was snuggled up in bed when a text came through from him to say goodnight. When I opened the text it said “look inside your back left pocket of your jeans.” I jumped out of bed as fast as I could and found the sweetest note from him, telling me how happy he is with me and that he thinks about me all the time. I couldn’t believe he had snuck it in there whilst we were cuddling and I never felt it. Needless to say it made my day and I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face.
Even though I am incredibly happy the seed of doubt obviously creeps into my head occasionally. I am guessing that is normal after what I have been through, I am trying my best to roll with whats happening and will continue to take each day as it comes and see where this path leads us. I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have been in a very long time. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy, he puts a smile on my face, he puts a smile on my childrens face, what more could I ask for, these are all endearing quality to hold.
Alien ….. This man likes the simple things in life, he’s not fussed by smart phones, gadgets or technology which at the start I found weird but this is him and I have got my head around it. He refers to himself as a caveman, personally I think its more like an alien which is a joke that we will continue to have. He is slowly stepping into my world as I got him into the world of texting, at first he was really slow but hes picking up speed and momentum with that one and I get to enjoy his messages regularly now which I love. I just need to get him into social media but I have a feeling I will never achieve that one, I know its my world but its not his which is not a bad thing, I guess we are all different.
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